#9 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Sep/06/2008 08:29 AM
What will you base your relationships on?
Today is Sunday and I'm not going to ask you if you went to Church. Mom will probably nag you about it but not I. This is the part of your life when you go to Church because you want to for yourself. Although we have provided ample examples of a living Church in our lives, in our family, in our friendships, still you must decide if it is for you now or maybe later.
But I will ask you this.
When you meet that special someone, what will you base that relationship on? If it is anything other than Christ, I suggest it will be temporary. If you base the relationship on "good looks" then when those "good looks" change, the relationship will wobble on shaky ground. If the relationship is based on power or money, when that runs out, the chances of collapse will also be just around the corner. If the relationship is based on good emotions, great conversation or strong physical attraction, then too a similar fate will await you.
The only lasting thing you can base your relationship on is Jesus Christ. It is like an insurance policy for that relationship. Otherwise, it'll just drift. And eventually disintegrate.
On our wedding invitation I wrote the following words. "Through Christ, we met. Through Christ we learned to love, we learned to share. Through Christ we will be united forever." I think that because of this idea, your mom and I have been able to weather storms better than others. We've had a couple of financial collapses, we've aged, we've even had differences of opinion on many issues. But "through Christ, we will be united forever" is a very real possibility. I know I want her next to me when I am on my death bed.
And ultimately, that is the question every couple seeking to spend the rest of their lives together should answer. "Who do you want to be next to you on your death bed?"
I love your mami,
Your papi
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Today is Sunday and I'm not going to ask you if you went to Church. Mom will probably nag you about it but not I. This is the part of your life when you go to Church because you want to for yourself. Although we have provided ample examples of a living Church in our lives, in our family, in our friendships, still you must decide if it is for you now or maybe later.
But I will ask you this.
When you meet that special someone, what will you base that relationship on? If it is anything other than Christ, I suggest it will be temporary. If you base the relationship on "good looks" then when those "good looks" change, the relationship will wobble on shaky ground. If the relationship is based on power or money, when that runs out, the chances of collapse will also be just around the corner. If the relationship is based on good emotions, great conversation or strong physical attraction, then too a similar fate will await you.
The only lasting thing you can base your relationship on is Jesus Christ. It is like an insurance policy for that relationship. Otherwise, it'll just drift. And eventually disintegrate.
On our wedding invitation I wrote the following words. "Through Christ, we met. Through Christ we learned to love, we learned to share. Through Christ we will be united forever." I think that because of this idea, your mom and I have been able to weather storms better than others. We've had a couple of financial collapses, we've aged, we've even had differences of opinion on many issues. But "through Christ, we will be united forever" is a very real possibility. I know I want her next to me when I am on my death bed.
And ultimately, that is the question every couple seeking to spend the rest of their lives together should answer. "Who do you want to be next to you on your death bed?"
I love your mami,
Your papi
Forward this to a friend or have him or her start receiving the first email in this series by signing up at http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com
What I do... http:/www.thestorytellingplace.com
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#7 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Sep/04/2008 07:58 AM
Your life's soundtrek...
So you're walking through campus and you meet a girl... What's the song playing in the background?
I've always felt like I was in a movie. Even before Walkman's (do you know what those are?) and iPods, I carried music in my head that I felt like they fit the circumstances. Sometimes I hummed under my breath as I strutted. When I graduated from college, i decided that I would always have a running Soundtrack of my life. I would actually choose what songs would be on the screen during the final credits of my "life movie". I believed they served as my signature. I would consider including the instrumentals that would take me from scene to scene... And the songs with a message. (Later, I'll tell you about how The Cats in the Cradle always haunted me.)
Over the years I have gone through genres of music exploring the widest ranges of ethnic vibes, electronica experimentation and classical remixes. I have thoroughly enjoyed my exotic musical journey. I have watched, or rather listened to the musical voyage you have been on. I hope that I have rubbed off some of that curiosity and passion I share for innovative music.
I now have the rare and unique privilege of sharing a work space with a music producer, McCumba, who is making a new piece of music "from his heart" almost everyday. I hear songs being dreamt up from the germ of the idea to the finished, polished mix. Excellent stuff. One day McCumba hypnotizes me with his prolific Jazz piano ability and the next day he sounds like Timbaland's producer. I'm witnessing how happy he is to just write one more song today.
So have you thought of your soundtrack? Is it all one genre? Is there stuff from you childhood? Does Blue's Clues make the cut? Has having a soundtrack ever crossed your mind? I suggest you consider your soundtrack because it will bring you much joy later.
Looking back on the albums of my life, I think my life always sounded good.
PS: Your mom's and my song is Just You and I by Eddie Rabbit. It's on our greatest hits remix.
Sounding off,
Your papi
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So you're walking through campus and you meet a girl... What's the song playing in the background?
I've always felt like I was in a movie. Even before Walkman's (do you know what those are?) and iPods, I carried music in my head that I felt like they fit the circumstances. Sometimes I hummed under my breath as I strutted. When I graduated from college, i decided that I would always have a running Soundtrack of my life. I would actually choose what songs would be on the screen during the final credits of my "life movie". I believed they served as my signature. I would consider including the instrumentals that would take me from scene to scene... And the songs with a message. (Later, I'll tell you about how The Cats in the Cradle always haunted me.)
Over the years I have gone through genres of music exploring the widest ranges of ethnic vibes, electronica experimentation and classical remixes. I have thoroughly enjoyed my exotic musical journey. I have watched, or rather listened to the musical voyage you have been on. I hope that I have rubbed off some of that curiosity and passion I share for innovative music.
I now have the rare and unique privilege of sharing a work space with a music producer, McCumba, who is making a new piece of music "from his heart" almost everyday. I hear songs being dreamt up from the germ of the idea to the finished, polished mix. Excellent stuff. One day McCumba hypnotizes me with his prolific Jazz piano ability and the next day he sounds like Timbaland's producer. I'm witnessing how happy he is to just write one more song today.
So have you thought of your soundtrack? Is it all one genre? Is there stuff from you childhood? Does Blue's Clues make the cut? Has having a soundtrack ever crossed your mind? I suggest you consider your soundtrack because it will bring you much joy later.
Looking back on the albums of my life, I think my life always sounded good.
PS: Your mom's and my song is Just You and I by Eddie Rabbit. It's on our greatest hits remix.
Sounding off,
Your papi
Forward this to a friend who has a teen or young adult son.
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#2 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Aug/28/2008 07:04 AM
If you're not going to say something spirit building...
Don Miguel Ruiz the famous author of the Four Agreements calls it... Be Impeccable with your words.
What he means is never to inflict pain on anyone with your words. That's because whether positive or negative they are powerful.
Words make or break a young child's spirit. Words break hearts. Words leave scars that hurt a lifetime.
But it seems, because people insult one another so often, that we are impermeable to "put downs". Not true. The child inside of us still gets damaged when somebody cuts us down. Some people will carry the baggage of insults with them to their grave. Families have been destroyed by what seemed like a little joke.
There is a cliché that older people use. They use it because it is wisdom. They say... "If you're not going to say something good about someone, then don't say anything at all." It's not cool to not insult. it's sort of like an "in" thing. But insulting is like stealing life from somebody.
Take Don Miguel Ruiz's shamanic advice and build people's spirit with your words. If a put down session is already taking place and somebody you know is the one who is being ground down to mince meat, don't participate. Don't add your two cents worth of insults. If you do participate, your "so-called" friends will expect you to be mean-spirited and they will eventually fear that mean spirit that lives and grows within you.
Word,
Your papi
Don Miguel Ruiz the famous author of the Four Agreements calls it... Be Impeccable with your words.
What he means is never to inflict pain on anyone with your words. That's because whether positive or negative they are powerful.
Words make or break a young child's spirit. Words break hearts. Words leave scars that hurt a lifetime.
But it seems, because people insult one another so often, that we are impermeable to "put downs". Not true. The child inside of us still gets damaged when somebody cuts us down. Some people will carry the baggage of insults with them to their grave. Families have been destroyed by what seemed like a little joke.
There is a cliché that older people use. They use it because it is wisdom. They say... "If you're not going to say something good about someone, then don't say anything at all." It's not cool to not insult. it's sort of like an "in" thing. But insulting is like stealing life from somebody.
Take Don Miguel Ruiz's shamanic advice and build people's spirit with your words. If a put down session is already taking place and somebody you know is the one who is being ground down to mince meat, don't participate. Don't add your two cents worth of insults. If you do participate, your "so-called" friends will expect you to be mean-spirited and they will eventually fear that mean spirit that lives and grows within you.
Word,
Your papi
#1 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Aug/26/2008 07:02 AM
The Balancing Act
For 20 years I have heard of a concept which at first I didn't get. I thought it was a nice to have, not a gotta have. Reflecting back I think my unconscious did pay attention to that valuable lesson. Reflecting back, I think it is what drives me now, keeps me in check. What is that lesson that I have been learning for the better part of my adult life?
Balance.
I have suffered when I have gone to extremes in anything. Work, play, study, anything. I have been saved by my will to maintain a balance between family and work, God and science, the intellect and intuition, listening and speaking, tradition and change, music and silence, light and darkness, relaxation and determination, health and leisure, etc...
Balance.
It's not a concept anymore for me. It is my context. It is the invisible framework that guides me through my day, through my life.
I had a different plan in mind on what and how I would impart some of my acquired wisdom. I didn't think you were interested in your high school years. Now that you are away and in a semi contemplative place where you look to define your life, I will periodically send some "things" that you can accept or reject. But at least I will have passed on something more valuable than money or material possessions.
Life is a classroom,
Your papi.
Intro Comment:
Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can is a daily email that I started sending my son when he left for college in early September. I felt that there was so much left to pass on. I thought the medium of email would be the best way to reach him. These emails include life lessons, business lessons, how-tos, found wisdom, and words of encouragement for the interesting life ahead.
I am the father of 8 children with a beautiful challenge at juggling life, health, family, career, entrepreneurship, etc. I believe in learning by teaching. Therefore, I am investing quality time everyday writing these emails so that they can serve my oldest son, and so that they can also serve all my other children. All but the youngest three are reading along. At the prompting of some friends, I have made these emails public. I got permission from my son...
And the journey begins.
For 20 years I have heard of a concept which at first I didn't get. I thought it was a nice to have, not a gotta have. Reflecting back I think my unconscious did pay attention to that valuable lesson. Reflecting back, I think it is what drives me now, keeps me in check. What is that lesson that I have been learning for the better part of my adult life?
Balance.
I have suffered when I have gone to extremes in anything. Work, play, study, anything. I have been saved by my will to maintain a balance between family and work, God and science, the intellect and intuition, listening and speaking, tradition and change, music and silence, light and darkness, relaxation and determination, health and leisure, etc...
Balance.
It's not a concept anymore for me. It is my context. It is the invisible framework that guides me through my day, through my life.
I had a different plan in mind on what and how I would impart some of my acquired wisdom. I didn't think you were interested in your high school years. Now that you are away and in a semi contemplative place where you look to define your life, I will periodically send some "things" that you can accept or reject. But at least I will have passed on something more valuable than money or material possessions.
Life is a classroom,
Your papi.
Intro Comment:
Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can is a daily email that I started sending my son when he left for college in early September. I felt that there was so much left to pass on. I thought the medium of email would be the best way to reach him. These emails include life lessons, business lessons, how-tos, found wisdom, and words of encouragement for the interesting life ahead.
I am the father of 8 children with a beautiful challenge at juggling life, health, family, career, entrepreneurship, etc. I believe in learning by teaching. Therefore, I am investing quality time everyday writing these emails so that they can serve my oldest son, and so that they can also serve all my other children. All but the youngest three are reading along. At the prompting of some friends, I have made these emails public. I got permission from my son...
And the journey begins.