#9 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
What will you base your relationships on?
Today is Sunday and I'm not going to ask you if you went to Church. Mom will probably nag you about it but not I. This is the part of your life when you go to Church because you want to for yourself. Although we have provided ample examples of a living Church in our lives, in our family, in our friendships, still you must decide if it is for you now or maybe later.
But I will ask you this.
When you meet that special someone, what will you base that relationship on? If it is anything other than Christ, I suggest it will be temporary. If you base the relationship on "good looks" then when those "good looks" change, the relationship will wobble on shaky ground. If the relationship is based on power or money, when that runs out, the chances of collapse will also be just around the corner. If the relationship is based on good emotions, great conversation or strong physical attraction, then too a similar fate will await you.
The only lasting thing you can base your relationship on is Jesus Christ. It is like an insurance policy for that relationship. Otherwise, it'll just drift. And eventually disintegrate.
On our wedding invitation I wrote the following words. "Through Christ, we met. Through Christ we learned to love, we learned to share. Through Christ we will be united forever." I think that because of this idea, your mom and I have been able to weather storms better than others. We've had a couple of financial collapses, we've aged, we've even had differences of opinion on many issues. But "through Christ, we will be united forever" is a very real possibility. I know I want her next to me when I am on my death bed.
And ultimately, that is the question every couple seeking to spend the rest of their lives together should answer. "Who do you want to be next to you on your death bed?"
I love your mami,
Your papi
Forward this to a friend or have him or her start receiving the first email in this series by signing up at http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com
What I do... http:/www.thestorytellingplace.com
Today is Sunday and I'm not going to ask you if you went to Church. Mom will probably nag you about it but not I. This is the part of your life when you go to Church because you want to for yourself. Although we have provided ample examples of a living Church in our lives, in our family, in our friendships, still you must decide if it is for you now or maybe later.
But I will ask you this.
When you meet that special someone, what will you base that relationship on? If it is anything other than Christ, I suggest it will be temporary. If you base the relationship on "good looks" then when those "good looks" change, the relationship will wobble on shaky ground. If the relationship is based on power or money, when that runs out, the chances of collapse will also be just around the corner. If the relationship is based on good emotions, great conversation or strong physical attraction, then too a similar fate will await you.
The only lasting thing you can base your relationship on is Jesus Christ. It is like an insurance policy for that relationship. Otherwise, it'll just drift. And eventually disintegrate.
On our wedding invitation I wrote the following words. "Through Christ, we met. Through Christ we learned to love, we learned to share. Through Christ we will be united forever." I think that because of this idea, your mom and I have been able to weather storms better than others. We've had a couple of financial collapses, we've aged, we've even had differences of opinion on many issues. But "through Christ, we will be united forever" is a very real possibility. I know I want her next to me when I am on my death bed.
And ultimately, that is the question every couple seeking to spend the rest of their lives together should answer. "Who do you want to be next to you on your death bed?"
I love your mami,
Your papi
Forward this to a friend or have him or her start receiving the first email in this series by signing up at http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com
What I do... http:/www.thestorytellingplace.com
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#8 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Finding You...
Now that you're in college, some of your professors won't only teach about what's outside you. Some will teach about and probe deeply into what's inside you, specifically inside your mind, your heart.
So who are you? Do you know? Do you have the ability to look at yourself from the outside looking in?
Finding you is a lifelong process but it seems that college really throws you headfirst into this discovery. Finding you will require reflecting on all the choices you've made, taking inventory of all your successes and shortcomings, and considering where you came from. You'll have to consider who your mother is, who your father is. You'll have to find a piece of your puzzle in each of your grandparents. And you'll have to understand how the schools you went to have shaped you. You'll also have to weigh in on how your culture, neighborhood, part of town, socioeconomic level, social clubs, athletic teams, coaches, teachers, brothers, sisters, groups of friends, girlfriends, confidence (or lack thereof), physical development, scoldings, praises, stress level and an even longer list of emotional guideposts to get a clearer picture.
Whew! So who are you?
When you find out, let me know?
When I find out who I am, I'll let you know.
Forward this to a friend or have him or her start receiving the first email in this series by signing up at http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com
What I do... http:/www.thestorytellingplace.com
Now that you're in college, some of your professors won't only teach about what's outside you. Some will teach about and probe deeply into what's inside you, specifically inside your mind, your heart.
So who are you? Do you know? Do you have the ability to look at yourself from the outside looking in?
Finding you is a lifelong process but it seems that college really throws you headfirst into this discovery. Finding you will require reflecting on all the choices you've made, taking inventory of all your successes and shortcomings, and considering where you came from. You'll have to consider who your mother is, who your father is. You'll have to find a piece of your puzzle in each of your grandparents. And you'll have to understand how the schools you went to have shaped you. You'll also have to weigh in on how your culture, neighborhood, part of town, socioeconomic level, social clubs, athletic teams, coaches, teachers, brothers, sisters, groups of friends, girlfriends, confidence (or lack thereof), physical development, scoldings, praises, stress level and an even longer list of emotional guideposts to get a clearer picture.
Whew! So who are you?
When you find out, let me know?
When I find out who I am, I'll let you know.
Forward this to a friend or have him or her start receiving the first email in this series by signing up at http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com
What I do... http:/www.thestorytellingplace.com
#5 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Make a note of this... And test yourself.
In the next few days you will be given multiple reading assignments at college. Teachers will give you a syllabus. On that syllabus will be specifics about what chapters from those books you just bought (which totaled more than $500... Ouch!) you need to read and by when you need to read them. Don't take those assignments lightly. Very soon you will find yourself taking a test where most of the subject matter came totally from those expensive books and for which none of the subject matter was ever discussed in class.
Forget the highlighter.
Besides ruining your books, highlighters, the college kid's favorite "pretend you are studious" activity is completely useless. I will highlight this and underline it to make my point. (Reader: I highlighted and underlined the next sentence on his email but can't do it here). Highlighters are completely useless. Instead, I suggest a different behavior. It requires more commitment but virtually guarantees your success. I learned it from your mom and she learned it from a videotape back in the day that propelled her from a borderline C and D student to an A student.
What was the behavior? She did two things. First of all, when reading her textbooks she forced herself to make her own tests. She put her reading material into question form, literally. She pretended to be the teacher and looked for possible questions hidden in the readings (about two questions per paragraph) and then used those questions to study from before the test day. She also did something else to succeed.
Take note...
While in class she took good notes. That's a no-brainer. You have to do that. But what she did with those notes is the insight I want to pass on to you. After class, first chance she got, mom would find a quiet spot and play back in her mind what all the notes meant. She cemented her knowledge when she did this. She made it stick like velcro. Trying to remember what you wrote down two weeks prior only puts you in a position to remember less than half of what you wrote and the context in which it was presented. So when you get out of class, find a tree to sit under or a distraction-proof seat somewhere and take a deep dive into your notes and upload them to the RAM of your mind. Then, when the time comes to review your notes and review the potential test questions from your textbooks, you won't need to cram, you'll walk in confidently and you'll kick some comosellama.
Mark my words, it'll work (Better yet, don't mark my words). Just take the advice.
Any questions?
Your papi
In the next few days you will be given multiple reading assignments at college. Teachers will give you a syllabus. On that syllabus will be specifics about what chapters from those books you just bought (which totaled more than $500... Ouch!) you need to read and by when you need to read them. Don't take those assignments lightly. Very soon you will find yourself taking a test where most of the subject matter came totally from those expensive books and for which none of the subject matter was ever discussed in class.
Forget the highlighter.
Besides ruining your books, highlighters, the college kid's favorite "pretend you are studious" activity is completely useless. I will highlight this and underline it to make my point. (Reader: I highlighted and underlined the next sentence on his email but can't do it here). Highlighters are completely useless. Instead, I suggest a different behavior. It requires more commitment but virtually guarantees your success. I learned it from your mom and she learned it from a videotape back in the day that propelled her from a borderline C and D student to an A student.
What was the behavior? She did two things. First of all, when reading her textbooks she forced herself to make her own tests. She put her reading material into question form, literally. She pretended to be the teacher and looked for possible questions hidden in the readings (about two questions per paragraph) and then used those questions to study from before the test day. She also did something else to succeed.
Take note...
While in class she took good notes. That's a no-brainer. You have to do that. But what she did with those notes is the insight I want to pass on to you. After class, first chance she got, mom would find a quiet spot and play back in her mind what all the notes meant. She cemented her knowledge when she did this. She made it stick like velcro. Trying to remember what you wrote down two weeks prior only puts you in a position to remember less than half of what you wrote and the context in which it was presented. So when you get out of class, find a tree to sit under or a distraction-proof seat somewhere and take a deep dive into your notes and upload them to the RAM of your mind. Then, when the time comes to review your notes and review the potential test questions from your textbooks, you won't need to cram, you'll walk in confidently and you'll kick some comosellama.
Mark my words, it'll work (Better yet, don't mark my words). Just take the advice.
Any questions?
Your papi
#4 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Write... And write... And write... Until it feels right.
I've written award winning ads and commercials. I've written songs for commercials, they used to call them jingles (a term I hated). I've written many songs for my wife, your mom. I've written a few songs for you along with your brothers and sisters to sing on Mother's Day. I've even written a Christian song with you and about 9 others. I've written poems which I have never shared with you. And perhaps I never will.
From 1998 to 2000, if memory serves me right, I wrote a daily email diary that I shared with my brothers, sisters and parents. I have those on some obscure backup drive stashed away.
I've written a book... A book that nobody read. Not even my wife or any of my children. When we were courting, I wrote a daily letter to my girlfriend, your mom, when I was in Austin, Texas and she was in Laredo, Texas and later San Antonio. She also wrote back to me every day.
And now I'm writing my "I wish I had taught my son" emails to you.
What you may not know is that when I was your age, I despised writing. My first three essay grades in English totaled 75. 25 each. I thought I would be thrown out of college because I couldn’t write. I had no clue about grammar. My vocabulary was pitiful. And all those ideas I had... They were trapped in my head with no possible way of jumping out to a page or a screen.
I struggled through college even though I had great grades. And I just wanted to get all my writing over with. Or so I thought.
Becoming a writer of stuff was not in my plans but I now thank God every day that he blessed me with the ability to finally understand how to organize my thoughts into something readable.
The lesson today is that you make writing a priority. It is a time machine. A portal. A journey. A friend.
Write on!
Your papi
I've written award winning ads and commercials. I've written songs for commercials, they used to call them jingles (a term I hated). I've written many songs for my wife, your mom. I've written a few songs for you along with your brothers and sisters to sing on Mother's Day. I've even written a Christian song with you and about 9 others. I've written poems which I have never shared with you. And perhaps I never will.
From 1998 to 2000, if memory serves me right, I wrote a daily email diary that I shared with my brothers, sisters and parents. I have those on some obscure backup drive stashed away.
I've written a book... A book that nobody read. Not even my wife or any of my children. When we were courting, I wrote a daily letter to my girlfriend, your mom, when I was in Austin, Texas and she was in Laredo, Texas and later San Antonio. She also wrote back to me every day.
And now I'm writing my "I wish I had taught my son" emails to you.
What you may not know is that when I was your age, I despised writing. My first three essay grades in English totaled 75. 25 each. I thought I would be thrown out of college because I couldn’t write. I had no clue about grammar. My vocabulary was pitiful. And all those ideas I had... They were trapped in my head with no possible way of jumping out to a page or a screen.
I struggled through college even though I had great grades. And I just wanted to get all my writing over with. Or so I thought.
Becoming a writer of stuff was not in my plans but I now thank God every day that he blessed me with the ability to finally understand how to organize my thoughts into something readable.
The lesson today is that you make writing a priority. It is a time machine. A portal. A journey. A friend.
Write on!
Your papi
#1 Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can
Aug/26/2008 07:02 AM Filed in: Life Lessons | Relationships
The Balancing Act
For 20 years I have heard of a concept which at first I didn't get. I thought it was a nice to have, not a gotta have. Reflecting back I think my unconscious did pay attention to that valuable lesson. Reflecting back, I think it is what drives me now, keeps me in check. What is that lesson that I have been learning for the better part of my adult life?
Balance.
I have suffered when I have gone to extremes in anything. Work, play, study, anything. I have been saved by my will to maintain a balance between family and work, God and science, the intellect and intuition, listening and speaking, tradition and change, music and silence, light and darkness, relaxation and determination, health and leisure, etc...
Balance.
It's not a concept anymore for me. It is my context. It is the invisible framework that guides me through my day, through my life.
I had a different plan in mind on what and how I would impart some of my acquired wisdom. I didn't think you were interested in your high school years. Now that you are away and in a semi contemplative place where you look to define your life, I will periodically send some "things" that you can accept or reject. But at least I will have passed on something more valuable than money or material possessions.
Life is a classroom,
Your papi.
Intro Comment:
Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can is a daily email that I started sending my son when he left for college in early September. I felt that there was so much left to pass on. I thought the medium of email would be the best way to reach him. These emails include life lessons, business lessons, how-tos, found wisdom, and words of encouragement for the interesting life ahead.
I am the father of 8 children with a beautiful challenge at juggling life, health, family, career, entrepreneurship, etc. I believe in learning by teaching. Therefore, I am investing quality time everyday writing these emails so that they can serve my oldest son, and so that they can also serve all my other children. All but the youngest three are reading along. At the prompting of some friends, I have made these emails public. I got permission from my son...
And the journey begins.
For 20 years I have heard of a concept which at first I didn't get. I thought it was a nice to have, not a gotta have. Reflecting back I think my unconscious did pay attention to that valuable lesson. Reflecting back, I think it is what drives me now, keeps me in check. What is that lesson that I have been learning for the better part of my adult life?
Balance.
I have suffered when I have gone to extremes in anything. Work, play, study, anything. I have been saved by my will to maintain a balance between family and work, God and science, the intellect and intuition, listening and speaking, tradition and change, music and silence, light and darkness, relaxation and determination, health and leisure, etc...
Balance.
It's not a concept anymore for me. It is my context. It is the invisible framework that guides me through my day, through my life.
I had a different plan in mind on what and how I would impart some of my acquired wisdom. I didn't think you were interested in your high school years. Now that you are away and in a semi contemplative place where you look to define your life, I will periodically send some "things" that you can accept or reject. But at least I will have passed on something more valuable than money or material possessions.
Life is a classroom,
Your papi.
Intro Comment:
Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can is a daily email that I started sending my son when he left for college in early September. I felt that there was so much left to pass on. I thought the medium of email would be the best way to reach him. These emails include life lessons, business lessons, how-tos, found wisdom, and words of encouragement for the interesting life ahead.
I am the father of 8 children with a beautiful challenge at juggling life, health, family, career, entrepreneurship, etc. I believe in learning by teaching. Therefore, I am investing quality time everyday writing these emails so that they can serve my oldest son, and so that they can also serve all my other children. All but the youngest three are reading along. At the prompting of some friends, I have made these emails public. I got permission from my son...
And the journey begins.