http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/index.htmlDaily doses of wisdom to my son from a caring father.enjramirez@thestorytellingplace.comCopyright 2008 Jesus Ramirez2008-12-27T09:27:49-06:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Sat, 27 Dec 2008 06:14:39 -0600jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comTechnologyBusiness How-To2008-12-27T09:27:49-06:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/2fb06982202b39d58b8cc3e290b7b881-10.html#unique-entry-id-10http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/2fb06982202b39d58b8cc3e290b7b881-10.html#unique-entry-id-10Have you googled something lately?

Sooner or later you're going to be making a website for yourself, for a group you're teaming up with or for a business. And even though you're looking at a science career, you'll inevitably end up needing to understand how to make money in that chosen career. Perhaps you'll be the next Jacques Yves Cousteau or the next Crocodile Hunter and people will come to view your latest webisodes on your website. If you end up a veterinarian or a paleontologist or an expert on plankton (not the character on SpongeBob Square Pants), you'll need to announce to the world your services, your findings, your point-of-view, the compelling "why" they should care about your work.

Therefore, I want you to know in general terms how Google works. It is by far the most powerful search engine in the world. And since you will want people to stumble onto your site someday, you'll need to know how the logical "robots" at Google think and operate.

When you type in a combination of words in a Google search and hit enter, Google runs off throughout the world (in a matter of seconds) and tries to satisfy your wish, attempting to retrieve for you the best internet website that it rationalizes will satisfy your search request. And wala... You get a list of ranked sites that seem to be quite impressive... Saving you a ton of time.

There are three main categories of results that show up on a search. There are the paid Sponsored Links on top, the top ranked unpaid sites below and the paid Google Adword ads on the right side.

First, a little about the paid sites... These are people or companies who have bought Google Adwords. They have paid to hopefully get your attention. They are on the right side of the page on the other side of a little blue line. There are also some paid or "Sponsored Links" on the top of the results page usually with a light coloration. These too are paid for by individuals or companies. The prices for those ads may range from a nickel per click to quite expensive depending on the demand for those words.

The remaining results are unpaid sites who have succeeded at becoming the best ranked sites on the subject you just searched. Sometimes, they're just what you were looking for, sometimes you have to have to go deep into the other pages until you find what you wanted.

Well... Google is paying attention to your behavior. If you're not picking the sites on the first page, Google is demoting the sites on the first page. If you do find what you were looking for on the first page, Google is happy. But Google makes sure that you click on several pages within the site you enter before it deems the site a success. If you find what you were looking for on the third page of the search result listings, then Google will reward the site you pick on that third page and move them up the ranks, perhaps to the first page (if others like you also find the same site relevant).

How does Google know to even display these sites in the first place? What is Google looking for? That'll be covered in tomorrow's "things".

The bottom line... If you make a site, you'll want to be on the first page of a Google search and to do that you'll need to know what word combination people are using to find what they're looking for. I'll let you know how that works too. But later. Now get back to studying.

Your papi

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]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comParenthoodFamily2008-09-07T08:41:58-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/8fcb3af6763314904c3797a7a668086b-9.html#unique-entry-id-9http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/8fcb3af6763314904c3797a7a668086b-9.html#unique-entry-id-9It's about time...

You've probably experienced different kinds of time already. You've experienced the .7 seconds at the end of the game where you or one of your teammates inbounded the ball and released the shot in time for the final winning shot. Or perhaps you were on the losing end of that shot. You've experienced the longest minute when your hurt and angry mom talked to you about how you disappointed her. You may have experienced time standing still during a kiss or during a near 90° roller-coaster drop.

For some people, time flies all the time. For others it crawls. For some people time is on their side. For others, time is the enemy. For the person who is terminally ill, time is precious. For the chronic drunk, time is a thief.

For me, writing to you write now... Time is a treasure that will be frozen and preserved long after I die.

Your brother Uriel just walked in and came directly towards me. I hugged him and time shifted.

The lesson today is that you respect time. It is fleeting but you have exactly the same amount of time as anybody else who will accomplish more than you and as those who will scratch their heads and wonder where you found the time to accomplish so much.

There is a time for everything, a passage in Ecclesiastes (3:1-8) reads... And perhaps someday you'll feel like your time has come.

Over the years, I've learned to make time. No, I don't have a time machine. I've just tried to spend my time proactively. If you ever noticed, I seldom sat in front of the TV for long periods of time. And I will add that my time has been lucid because I rarely dulled my senses with alcohol.

Since you won't be able to hold on to time, I hope that you instead make the most out of time that you can.

Now it's time to close this. And send it through time.

Your papi

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]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comLife LessonsRelationshipsWomen2008-09-06T08:29:51-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/8d358de6dcb6b941e531441fadbbc370-8.html#unique-entry-id-8http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/8d358de6dcb6b941e531441fadbbc370-8.html#unique-entry-id-8What will you base your relationships on?

Today is Sunday and I'm not going to ask you if you went to Church. Mom will probably nag you about it but not I. This is the part of your life when you go to Church because you want to for yourself. Although we have provided ample examples of a living Church in our lives, in our family, in our friendships, still you must decide if it is for you now or maybe later.

But I will ask you this.

When you meet that special someone, what will you base that relationship on? If it is anything other than Christ, I suggest it will be temporary. If you base the relationship on "good looks" then when those "good looks" change, the relationship will wobble on shaky ground. If the relationship is based on power or money, when that runs out, the chances of collapse will also be just around the corner. If the relationship is based on good emotions, great conversation or strong physical attraction, then too a similar fate will await you.

The only lasting thing you can base your relationship on is Jesus Christ. It is like an insurance policy for that relationship. Otherwise, it'll just drift. And eventually disintegrate.

On our wedding invitation I wrote the following words. "Through Christ, we met. Through Christ we learned to love, we learned to share. Through Christ we will be united forever." I think that because of this idea, your mom and I have been able to weather storms better than others. We've had a couple of financial collapses, we've aged, we've even had differences of opinion on many issues. But "through Christ, we will be united forever" is a very real possibility. I know I want her next to me when I am on my death bed.

And ultimately, that is the question every couple seeking to spend the rest of their lives together should answer. "Who do you want to be next to you on your death bed?"

I love your mami,

Your papi

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]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comIdentityAncestryCulture2008-09-05T08:27:32-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/0434a5023444069d7409e850acf8744f-7.html#unique-entry-id-7http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/0434a5023444069d7409e850acf8744f-7.html#unique-entry-id-7Finding You...

Now that you're in college, some of your professors won't only teach about what's outside you. Some will teach about and probe deeply into what's inside you, specifically inside your mind, your heart.

So who are you? Do you know? Do you have the ability to look at yourself from the outside looking in?

Finding you is a lifelong process but it seems that college really throws you headfirst into this discovery. Finding you will require reflecting on all the choices you've made, taking inventory of all your successes and shortcomings, and considering where you came from. You'll have to consider who your mother is, who your father is. You'll have to find a piece of your puzzle in each of your grandparents. And you'll have to understand how the schools you went to have shaped you. You'll also have to weigh in on how your culture, neighborhood, part of town, socioeconomic level, social clubs, athletic teams, coaches, teachers, brothers, sisters, groups of friends, girlfriends, confidence (or lack thereof), physical development, scoldings, praises, stress level and an even longer list of emotional guideposts to get a clearer picture.

Whew! So who are you?

When you find out, let me know?

When I find out who I am, I'll let you know.

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]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comArt & MusicRelationships2008-09-04T07:58:11-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/41ddada8fed3eedf7f21f6a8fc4780cd-6.html#unique-entry-id-6http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/41ddada8fed3eedf7f21f6a8fc4780cd-6.html#unique-entry-id-6Your life's soundtrek...

So you're walking through campus and you meet a girl... What's the song playing in the background?
I've always felt like I was in a movie. Even before Walkman's (do you know what those are?) and iPods, I carried music in my head that I felt like they fit the circumstances. Sometimes I hummed under my breath as I strutted. When I graduated from college, i decided that I would always have a running Soundtrack of my life. I would actually choose what songs would be on the screen during the final credits of my "life movie". I believed they served as my signature. I would consider including the instrumentals that would take me from scene to scene... And the songs with a message. (Later, I'll tell you about how The Cats in the Cradle always haunted me.)

Over the years I have gone through genres of music exploring the widest ranges of ethnic vibes, electronica experimentation and classical remixes. I have thoroughly enjoyed my exotic musical journey. I have watched, or rather listened to the musical voyage you have been on. I hope that I have rubbed off some of that curiosity and passion I share for innovative music.

I now have the rare and unique privilege of sharing a work space with a music producer, McCumba, who is making a new piece of music "from his heart" almost everyday. I hear songs being dreamt up from the germ of the idea to the finished, polished mix. Excellent stuff. One day McCumba hypnotizes me with his prolific Jazz piano ability and the next day he sounds like Timbaland's producer. I'm witnessing how happy he is to just write one more song today.

So have you thought of your soundtrack? Is it all one genre? Is there stuff from you childhood? Does Blue's Clues make the cut? Has having a soundtrack ever crossed your mind? I suggest you consider your soundtrack because it will bring you much joy later.

Looking back on the albums of my life, I think my life always sounded good.

PS: Your mom's and my song is Just You and I by Eddie Rabbit. It's on our greatest hits remix.

Sounding off,

Your papi

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]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comCar-RelatedLife Lessons2008-09-03T07:26:19-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/c4160500c2005758b1bd2d1f51c04c8f-5.html#unique-entry-id-5http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/c4160500c2005758b1bd2d1f51c04c8f-5.html#unique-entry-id-5
]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comStudyingCollege2008-09-02T07:24:22-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/41db16abfd2d7e66887b148e01ed573f-4.html#unique-entry-id-4http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/41db16abfd2d7e66887b148e01ed573f-4.html#unique-entry-id-4Make a note of this... And test yourself.

In the next few days you will be given multiple reading assignments at college. Teachers will give you a syllabus. On that syllabus will be specifics about what chapters from those books you just bought (which totaled more than $500... Ouch!) you need to read and by when you need to read them. Don't take those assignments lightly. Very soon you will find yourself taking a test where most of the subject matter came totally from those expensive books and for which none of the subject matter was ever discussed in class.

Forget the highlighter.
Besides ruining your books, highlighters, the college kid's favorite "pretend you are studious" activity is completely useless. I will highlight this and underline it to make my point. (Reader: I highlighted and underlined the next sentence on his email but can't do it here). Highlighters are completely useless. Instead, I suggest a different behavior. It requires more commitment but virtually guarantees your success. I learned it from your mom and she learned it from a videotape back in the day that propelled her from a borderline C and D student to an A student.

What was the behavior? She did two things. First of all, when reading her textbooks she forced herself to make her own tests. She put her reading material into question form, literally. She pretended to be the teacher and looked for possible questions hidden in the readings (about two questions per paragraph) and then used those questions to study from before the test day. She also did something else to succeed.

Take note...
While in class she took good notes. That's a no-brainer. You have to do that. But what she did with those notes is the insight I want to pass on to you. After class, first chance she got, mom would find a quiet spot and play back in her mind what all the notes meant. She cemented her knowledge when she did this. She made it stick like velcro. Trying to remember what you wrote down two weeks prior only puts you in a position to remember less than half of what you wrote and the context in which it was presented. So when you get out of class, find a tree to sit under or a distraction-proof seat somewhere and take a deep dive into your notes and upload them to the RAM of your mind. Then, when the time comes to review your notes and review the potential test questions from your textbooks, you won't need to cram, you'll walk in confidently and you'll kick some comosellama.

Mark my words, it'll work (Better yet, don't mark my words). Just take the advice.

Any questions?


Your papi]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comCareerWriting2008-08-31T07:21:39-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/bb7cbe10d52b85ace6a046d4cadec162-3.html#unique-entry-id-3http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/bb7cbe10d52b85ace6a046d4cadec162-3.html#unique-entry-id-3Write... And write... And write... Until it feels right.

I've written award winning ads and commercials. I've written songs for commercials, they used to call them jingles (a term I hated). I've written many songs for my wife, your mom. I've written a few songs for you along with your brothers and sisters to sing on Mother's Day. I've even written a Christian song with you and about 9 others. I've written poems which I have never shared with you. And perhaps I never will.

From 1998 to 2000, if memory serves me right, I wrote a daily email diary that I shared with my brothers, sisters and parents. I have those on some obscure backup drive stashed away.

I've written a book... A book that nobody read. Not even my wife or any of my children. When we were courting, I wrote a daily letter to my girlfriend, your mom, when I was in Austin, Texas and she was in Laredo, Texas and later San Antonio. She also wrote back to me every day.

And now I'm writing my "I wish I had taught my son" emails to you.

What you may not know is that when I was your age, I despised writing. My first three essay grades in English totaled 75. 25 each. I thought I would be thrown out of college because I couldn’t write. I had no clue about grammar. My vocabulary was pitiful. And all those ideas I had... They were trapped in my head with no possible way of jumping out to a page or a screen.

I struggled through college even though I had great grades. And I just wanted to get all my writing over with. Or so I thought.

Becoming a writer of stuff was not in my plans but I now thank God every day that he blessed me with the ability to finally understand how to organize my thoughts into something readable.

The lesson today is that you make writing a priority. It is a time machine. A portal. A journey. A friend.

Write on!

Your papi]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comFinancesMoney2008-08-29T07:08:59-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/03442a89778747a5d29832d78e542a25-2.html#unique-entry-id-2http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/03442a89778747a5d29832d78e542a25-2.html#unique-entry-id-2When the bank is the predator...

Today I found out that you're checking account is overdrawn. Remember my lesson on balance just two days ago? It applies to your checkbook too, your online account, whatever they call it these days.

Over the course of your life you will lose tens of thousands of dollars to carelessness mismanaged plans, and downright robbery from banks. (Who would have thought that banks would be robbing us?) Some of your losses will be valuable learning like today. Most of it will be just waste. I'm sort of glad that you had this overdrawn lesson on the first day of college. So here goes the lesson that accompanies "balance."

We live in an information universe where you can receive your daily balance on your phone every single day of the year. I do. And you should set that up right away. You should also select all the other tools like "low balance", deductions over $$, etc. This wasn't available when I was in college but banks weren't so predatory either. Nowadays, banks want to steal your money even though they're supposed to be safekeeping it. They are not your friends. Use them and take advantage of their organizational products but never turn your back on them. They love overdrafters and disorganized customers. Fraud is now something to worry about. Pay attention to the activity on your account and help the police catch the criminals. Unless you are diligent with your finances, you won't know and they'll get away with your money. And as Santa, your little baby sister would say, "that's not nice!"

Checking out,

Your papi]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comRelationshipsAncient Wisdom2008-08-28T07:04:40-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/eaae79abef78c4355c4b9c9f799d8533-1.html#unique-entry-id-1http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/eaae79abef78c4355c4b9c9f799d8533-1.html#unique-entry-id-1If you're not going to say something spirit building...

Don Miguel Ruiz the famous author of the Four Agreements calls it... Be Impeccable with your words.

What he means is never to inflict pain on anyone with your words. That's because whether positive or negative they are powerful.

Words make or break a young child's spirit. Words break hearts. Words leave scars that hurt a lifetime.

But it seems, because people insult one another so often, that we are impermeable to "put downs". Not true. The child inside of us still gets damaged when somebody cuts us down. Some people will carry the baggage of insults with them to their grave. Families have been destroyed by what seemed like a little joke.

There is a cliché that older people use. They use it because it is wisdom. They say... "If you're not going to say something good about someone, then don't say anything at all." It's not cool to not insult. it's sort of like an "in" thing. But insulting is like stealing life from somebody.

Take Don Miguel Ruiz's shamanic advice and build people's spirit with your words. If a put down session is already taking place and somebody you know is the one who is being ground down to mince meat, don't participate. Don't add your two cents worth of insults. If you do participate, your "so-called" friends will expect you to be mean-spirited and they will eventually fear that mean spirit that lives and grows within you.

Word,


Your papi

]]>jramirez@thestorytellingplace.comLife LessonsRelationships2008-08-26T07:02:52-05:00http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/2256cd9f8ffed3e771bb599bf145bbf9-0.html#unique-entry-id-0http://www.thingsiwishihadtaughtmyson.com/page11/files/2256cd9f8ffed3e771bb599bf145bbf9-0.html#unique-entry-id-0The Balancing Act

For 20 years I have heard of a concept which at first I didn't get. I thought it was a nice to have, not a gotta have. Reflecting back I think my unconscious did pay attention to that valuable lesson. Reflecting back, I think it is what drives me now, keeps me in check. What is that lesson that I have been learning for the better part of my adult life?

Balance.

I have suffered when I have gone to extremes in anything. Work, play, study, anything. I have been saved by my will to maintain a balance between family and work, God and science, the intellect and intuition, listening and speaking, tradition and change, music and silence, light and darkness, relaxation and determination, health and leisure, etc...

Balance.

It's not a concept anymore for me. It is my context. It is the invisible framework that guides me through my day, through my life.

I had a different plan in mind on what and how I would impart some of my acquired wisdom. I didn't think you were interested in your high school years. Now that you are away and in a semi contemplative place where you look to define your life, I will periodically send some "things" that you can accept or reject. But at least I will have passed on something more valuable than money or material possessions.

Life is a classroom,

Your papi.


Intro Comment:

Things I wish I had taught my son... And still can is a daily email that I started sending my son when he left for college in early September. I felt that there was so much left to pass on. I thought the medium of email would be the best way to reach him. These emails include life lessons, business lessons, how-tos, found wisdom, and words of encouragement for the interesting life ahead.

I am the father of 8 children with a beautiful challenge at juggling life, health, family, career, entrepreneurship, etc. I believe in learning by teaching. Therefore, I am investing quality time everyday writing these emails so that they can serve my oldest son, and so that they can also serve all my other children. All but the youngest three are reading along. At the prompting of some friends, I have made these emails public. I got permission from my son...

And the journey begins.]]>